


Hold Tight Now, I Can Feel You Slipping

by Tonight_At_Noon



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Just a little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff on this fine Sunday morning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 23:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16438901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonight_At_Noon/pseuds/Tonight_At_Noon
Summary: He says something and Darcy can feel her heart crack.





	Hold Tight Now, I Can Feel You Slipping

She stares at him with her mouth hanging open. Comically, like something out of a Loony Toon. Like she has become a snake, capable of unhinging her jaw--and she feels like a snake too, like she could just close the gap between them and eat him whole. Then she wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of what he just said. And her jaw isn't slack. It's not hanging loosely, threatening to snap off and fall to the floor. It's tight. So tight she already feels the start of a tension headache.

She is so shocked by his statement that she can't even admire how adorable he looks when he says something he didn't mean to say. Because usually those words are directed at someone else, and it's a funny slip of his ancient tongue. But this time, he said it to her. And it hurts. It isn't funny at all.

"Say it again," she says, her throat unbelievably tight. God, she can't fucking breathe. "Say it."

He gives a small shake of his head. "No," he says gruffly. "Darcy, I didn't mean"--

\--"Just say it," she demands.

She knows how hysterical she sounds, how ridiculous this is. But she can't help it. She has never reacted well to heartbreak. If you could even call this heartbreak. It's not like they're together. But they've been moving towards together since they met, and she thought they were standing on the same ground, but it turns out they weren't.

It turns out she is the fool on the rug, and Bucky Barnes is the guy willing to rip it out from underneath her.

She says it for him. "You wish we'd never met," she says. Christ, is she crying? Slapping her hand against her cheek, she feels a wetness coat her fingers. She is crying. Over Bucky Barnes. Like an idiot. "Why can't you say it again?"

The half-metal man stands awkwardly in her apartment. Her low ceiling makes it so the light fixture above his head almost touches the tips of his quaffed hair. From where she stands a few feet away it looks like he has a halo. Like he is God-chosen and angelic, her personal rescuer come down to make things better.

Ha. He is not that. He proved as much tonight. 

"Because I didn't mean it. Not in the way you think."

"Enlighten me."

"Can we please sit?" he asks, gesturing to the sofa behind him.

That sofa is where this whole thing between them began seven months ago. It's too much of a safe space for them. She won't give him that kind of leverage.

"No. Tell me here. Tell me now."

He rubs the back of his neck with his mechanical hand, switching to his real one when he realises his mistake. He does that a lot more than anyone would think. "I just meant," he says heavily, his blue eyes ripping her open, "that this turned into something I didn't expect it to."

"You can't finish there," she says, rubbing furiously at more tears as they cascade freely down her cheeks. "You have to elaborate more."

He groans, frustrated. "When we met, when we started hanging out, I didn't think..."

"Didn't think what?" She wasn't being fair. She was being very, very unfair, in fact, by pushing him and pushing him. But she couldn't stop herself.

"I didn't think I'd start liking you!" he bursts, his fists closing. She hears the metallic scratch of his left hand balling. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

"What's so bad about it?"

Darcy had experienced her fair share of heartbreak.

No. She had experienced heartbreak once. When she was 18. The day before she was to leave for West Virginia. Her high school boyfriend sat her down on the sofa in his house and told her he didn't love her anymore. He said he wasn't up for long distance. He said she was too much for him, and he wished he'd looked past her their freshman year so he could have had more time exploring.

Exploring what, Darcy hadn't cared to ask for an example.

After that, she never stayed with a guy long enough to let them hurt her like that. She broke it off after a couple of months, just before she started _feeling_ too much.

And then came Bucky. Storming into her life like some giant typhoon, washing himself over everything. Soon enough, she found herself drowning in him, and even though they had never talked about it or kissed or gone on an official date, she felt him moving about inside of her. And the way he lit up when he saw her made her think she maybe moved about inside of him too.

But maybe she was wrong.

And Jesus, she was a fucking idiot for letting it get this far.

"I'm messed up, Darcy," he says, pulling her back to her apartment. "I'm constantly on the verge of a breakdown."

"But you said it was getting better."

"It is, but I don't want to put you in danger," he says earnestly. His hands go through his hair. The tips now touch the lightbulb. How long will it take for him to catch fire? "I don't want to let my guard down long enough to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, you're doing a pretty good job of that right now!" She is practically seething. Daringly, Darcy steps closer to him. She sees small rivulets of smoke sprouting from his head and tugs on his arm to pull him away from the light. Pull him towards her. "I'm ready for this, Bucky. I have been for months now. Don't let your fear get in the way of your happiness." 

He doesn't say anything. His head hangs like a hundred pound weight against his chest.

"Do I make you happy?" she asks.

Bucky lifts his head. His eyes meet hers. "Yes, but think about it. Think about how...how _old_ I am."

He's pulling at straws.

"You're not old," she says, squeezing his hand. His fingers open and she slips hers through. She clings to him. "I mean, yeah, you kinda are, but you're really not. The suspended animation stopped you from ageing."

"I haven't done this in decades, Darcy," he says. "I'm lost."

"It's been a little while for me too."

He holds her gaze. "I didn't mean it," he says. "I'm glad we met."

"I am too," she says, and she bravely, maybe stupidly, gets on her tiptoes and coils her arms around the super soldier's neck.

He smiles at her, laughing a little, and his arms go about her waist. She doesn't even notice the metal one.

Closing her eyes, her body vibrating, Darcy perks up her chin and presses her mouth to Bucky's rough cheek. She moves to his jaw, getting the soft point of his chin. He sighs-- _happily_. His heart races against his clothes so harshly she can feel it. She traces kisses all about his face, getting his nose and his eyebrows and his forehead, before reaching the sides of his mouth.

They both stop breathing. She gets one corner, then the other, then her lips are pressed firmly against his, and Darcy's insides squirm with heat. His arms tighten around her, pressing her so hard that she thinks, for a second, she might break through his ribs.

She doesn't know who opens their mouth first, but it doesn't take long for her jaw to part. This time it is slack.

They are both panting when they break apart. Fire surges inside of Darcy, painting her flesh a deep pink. She looks up at Bucky and sees his wide pupils, his pink-tinged nose, his swollen, wet mouth.

"We can't go back," she says. " _I_ can't go back."

"Neither can I," he says. 

"Good," Darcy says, and she wraps herself around him once more.


End file.
